Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
