I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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