I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
