I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
