Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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