That's when you crack a 10am beer
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
where are my eyebrows?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
