you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
