Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
