I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
