There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
