At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she peed on how many people?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
