My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
