Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
