why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
