forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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