do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
