I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
