I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
