do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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