no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
