i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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