Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
