What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
