Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
