It's Friday. Sex?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
