hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My vagina just clenched in fear
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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