I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
