can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
