I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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