Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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