Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
