its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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