Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
im calling her cock vulture from now on
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
