I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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