Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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