yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
