You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
