i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
