we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
