There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
