my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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