apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
