Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
