Rock
Scissors
Fuck
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
