i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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