Don't you send me to vm
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
