May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
