my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize