goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
