You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
