tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
there is glitter all over my balls
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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