ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
