just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
