Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
