nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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