rhymes with "ouble enetration"
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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