OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Please don't give away my fajitas
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
