Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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