so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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