just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she woke up with a sticky ear
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
