nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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