Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
