Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
