a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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