how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
